Blame MYSELF or BAD LUCK?

I have more than 8 years driving experience. I never got involved in an accident that needs to come out of the vehicle to negotiate with the driver. I get a new experience today and I am going to remember what I learned from it.

It is a hot afternoon and I am driving back home from work. The traffic is bumper to bumper and I am just one street away from my home. I will reach my destination in another 1 minute. A few policemen were blocking the road to my home and I am looking at them to find out the reason. The car in front moved forward, so I changed my gear and move forward too. Little did I noticed that the car in front suddenly stopped and I can't stopped in time because I was looking to my right. It was too late and I heard a loud "BANG". My car had kissed the bumper of the front car.

My heart nearly stopped and I was terrified. The front car stopped at the road side and I followed. As I come down of the car, I keep scolding myself for not paying full attention while driving. I looked at my front bumper and there's no scratches. I felt relieved.

As I walked over to the car which I bumped earlier, the male driver looks familiar. He is a friend of my friend's friend. He also realized the same thing. I looked at the rear bumper and did not noticed any scratches, broken lights, ...etc. I felt relieved instantly. I was thinking maybe because the distant is too close that's why the impact is very minor. But the male driver said there's something on top of the bumper and it was not there earlier. He said need to send it for painting which cost from RM10-RM100++. He added that the car rear looks okay now but maybe something already broken inside which will only appear later after he passed bumper. He asked if I have any recommended foremen to check on it. He asked for my phone number and gave it without thinking twice because I thought he is a friend of my friend's friend.

I argued that there's no scratches, "kemek" or broken lights, ...etc. The area which he said needs to paint is not noticeable. Usually people will just treat the case as closed and drive away. But this driver insisted that it needs painting & checking to ensure no internal damage to the car. (Inside I think this guy is very calculative). Failing to persuade him, I called my father and he arrived at the scene 5 minutes later.

My father also argued that there's nothing wrong with the car rear. The area that he said needs painting will be unnoticeable after do some polishing. Since he didn't moved from his request, my father offer him a small amount of money but he resist claiming that he don't want the money but just want to make sure the car is okay. Failing to convince him, my father asked the driver to follow him to nearby foreman for checking.

After looking at the area, the foreman just put on something on it. Aha! It looks like nothing happened before and he only charged us RM10. When I reached home, I agreed it is my carelessness but I blamed it on bad luck. It never struck my head that I was the one who caused the accident not luck. I should not blamed/ justify it as bad luck.

What I learned from this incident:
1) Must pay 100% attention when driving.
2) Must not simply get out of the car when involved in accident. Must make sure the other person does not look like got other intention (ex. robbing money, steal car, ....etc)
3) Do not provide IC, phone number, .....etc to the other person even if he's a friend of my friend's friend. Informed them to report to police or go to the nearest foreman for assistance.
4) Do not blame bad luck when something bad happened. Must take responsibility of what I've done (not paying full attention).
5) How to handle if happens again.
a) If the car is badly damaged, apologized softly.
b) If the car is in good condition, just informed the car is okay and leave immediately. Do not negotiate anymore. If driver refuse to let you go, just talked louder than the other party (I witnessed an accident where the wrong party talked loudly and repeatedly refused to accept its her fault and she wins the argument. No compensation is paid).

Previous Decisions Shapes The Future

Everyone has the power to CHOOSE.

I AM what I am NOW because of my previous decisions.

As a student, I have been given the choice to study Science OR Art stream. I have no idea which one to choose because I don't know what is my real ambition and I don't really understand what's the importance of it. But, I chose Science stream because I heard that I can change to Art Stream if I don't like it later. This is because Science student can change to become Art student but not the other way. Later, I decided to maintain the decision because my friend is in the same class.

Then, I finished my SPM but I still don't know what I want. What course should I study and which college? I just collected brochures which I thought is very hot subject. I was thinking about which course could earn more money and no need to work very hard. I was confused and lost. Finally, I decided to choose to study Form 6. Because I still don't know what I want and my parents can't afford the expensive course fees. I am happy these 2 years because I have more friends & I just need to study and worry nothing else.

After finished Form 6, I need to choose again. I have picked up 5 courses at which university? At this stage, I still don't know what I want to study and where. At last, I chose Computer Science/ Information Technology in a local university not because I like the subject but because I know I have bigger change to be chosen. Yes, I was indeed offered my first chosen subject.

After 3 years of hard studying, I finally graduated. I have to choose a job/ career. I landed my first job in a multinational IT company but I'm doing back-end support job called administrator. Why I am not in IT field? I give excuses like the constant need to upgrade myself if I'm in the IT sector by learning those programming language. I justify that I prefer a 9 to 5 job than a job that needs to do overtime/ overnight. Or am I afraid that I'm not good enough. I survived in university because it focus on theoretical not practical. By memorizing the textbook and help from friends, I am able to score the tests. I even almost get 1st class honour.

I nearly become jobless 6 months after my first job because the contract ends. I was then offered another job in the same company because of my department head's referral. A few months later, I start to search for new job. Is it because of the insecurity I felt due to bad experience in my first job? Or because I don't like the job that I was doing? Or because I finally able to get offer for a permanent job after the tiring process of interviews after interviews.

I am now working as a buyer. Why do I chose to accept this new job even though the salary is lower than my previous position. I rationalized that the position of a buyer has more prospect than an ordinary administrative executive. I need to learn some skills in order for me to land on other job in the future. I know that I must take the challenge and CHANGE.

In summary, I realised that I am what I am today because of what I decided in my earlier years.